F.W.B

You don't know all I ever hope for is for time to go back. Back to the time when I wouldn't even know you. You don't know how bad I cry myself to sleep every night. Having my pillows and blanket soaked to wet. Puffy eyes stick around me, and I gotta excused myself with the lack of  sleep when asked about it, although I'm spending more than half of my day sleeping. Thought I can wake up tomorrow morning feeling better. But hey, no. You hunt me down right when I open my eyes. It sucks even when you gotta stop your tears dripping into your bloody food. And I hate how I can't eat my chocolate, cause that doesn't even work anymore. I hate the fact that I have so much spare time now, all I want to do is to escape from reality and just sleep. And hopefully, when I wake up, I forget everything. But no, things aren't that easy. I hate how my phone isn't blinking anymore, and for a second, I thought it was spoiled. You don't know how much I curse beneath my breathe because my life is such a mess now. Walls are never built since then, and I don't know why I'm letting myself into this again. You don't know how many times I feel like getting rid of your number off my contact list. So that I wouldn't bring myself to bother you, as much as I want to. I wanna go back to Singapore, where school is so busy that I have no time for this. But at the same time, I don't know how I'm gonna survive through that. Cause you were along with me for the past few semesters. I don't wanna tear, knowing that I have important stuff I have to do the next day. And I don't want to silently tear in the shower, while walking to the mrt, in the mrt. People are so fake that I feel so lonely in the midst of the crowd. Just hopefully I won't break down in the food court, while staring at my cellphone. All those hard work paid off, because I know I have your support, which gave me strength to continue what I'm doing. Where am I gonna find all the confident I need now when I feel my self-esteem is pulled down to the very bottom?


Where's that angel when I need it now?